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I’ve got to be honest…

With this whole “going to be a dad” thing quickly approaching, I have been battling a lot of insecurity. From time-to-time I have found myself struggling with doubt.

Will I be a good dad? Am I prepared to be a dad? Will I be able to take care of a baby?

I have really been battling insecure thoughts, fear, and doubt.

Well…God has a great sense of humor.

Every Sunday during the NORTHchurch worship experiences, Heather and I make ourselves available to pray with people. We position ourselves in the same spot every week and every week people come to pray with us. Sometimes we pray for that individual; sometimes we pray for a family member; sometimes we pray for healing; and sometimes we pray for another loved one.

This past Sunday, we positioned ourselves in our normal spot, prepared ourselves to pray with some amazing NORTHchurch people, and waited. And waited. And waited. For the first time in a long time, nobody was coming to pray with us. The other prayer team members strategically positioned around the room were all praying with people.

I literally had this thought…”God, I guess you do not have anybody for us to pray with this week. That’s cool. I am about to take my 23-week pregnant wife back to our seats.”

As soon as I had this thought, I saw a mom and her young child get up from their seat on the other side of the auditorium. They walked past two other prayer team members, walked across the auditorium to Heather and I, and asked us to pray for the young child.

I listened to the mom’s prayer request, got on my knees, held the young child in my arms, and prayed for him. I prayed passionately. I prayed a “child-understandable” prayer – which I did not know I could do. I said “Amen”, gave the child a hug, and looked into his eyes. As I did that a big smile came across his face.

Through that moment and that smile, God spoke to me. In my heart, I heard God as clear as day remind me, “I am in control. I have got your back. I will prepare you. When you are weak, I am strong. You are going to be a great dad. Trust me.”

At that point, I could not control the tears. I was overwhelmed with gratitude.

Of all the people that mom and young child could have prayed with, they walked across the auditorium to pray with the one person in that room that is terrified of children. The one person who was struggling with insecurity, fear, and doubt of becoming a father. The one person who doesn’t know how to speak “child” language.

Yep…God has a sense of humor.