I love writing on this blog. I thoroughly enjoy having an avenue where I can write about (as the tagline says) my thoughts on life, faith, God, sports, culture, and whatever else pops into my brain.
Through my two year journey of blogging, I have been amazed at all the strangers that seem to stumble on this website for whatever reason. People from all over the world with diverse backgrounds and beliefs somehow find briancromer.com.
A few weeks ago, I wrote a blog post entitled “X3 WATCH“. This post talked about how pornography is the “dirty little secret” that is constantly being ignored and swept under the rug while it kills intimacy, marriages, and purity. I promoted a wonderful free software called X3 Watch, which is an accountability software that sends a weekly email to an accountability partner of what websites you are looking at. I personally use this software on my computer.
This week I received an interesting comment from a stranger (named Jeffrey) on this blog post. Jeffrey commented…
wow, do you Christians really need Big Brother to stay ethically centered? It’s no wonder you believe we are “born in sin,” when you yourselves are so morally bankrupt that you must resort to “discipleship” and “accountablity partners” to avoid doing what you have already convinced yourself you shouldn’t do.
I have an idea, grow a backbone and get a hobby?
My question to you is this…HOW WOULD YOU RESPOND? I’m not asking out of cluelessness. I am asking because I believe it is very healthy to be able to have a conversation with somebody who doesn’t know Jesus in a calm, rational, loving, yet unswerving way. Stretch yourself to process how you would respond if you received this comment.
How would you respond to Jeffrey?
I would tell him having the courage to admit you have a struggle and ask for help is having a “Backbone”.
I would ask him if he has ever had a struggle or vice that he wanted to rid himself of, but could not do it by himself…He should say “yes”, but his tone leads you to belive he is Pefrect and would never need someone to help him through something.
Hmmmm. because i’m obnoxious i would want to say, “Can I hug you?” Cause Jesus loves you sooo much and I just want you to know that and feel that.” I would say other stuff, but of course, my first instinct is to just hug him.
Brian, I believe I would want to point out to him the we as christians are saved, yet far from perfect. We are just as vulnerable to the arrows satan sends our way as any man or woman that has ever walked or will ever walk this challenging world, but by the grace of our God have been blessed with people all around us that care to help when we need it. Our heavenly Father gives us more “backbone” than anyone could even possibly use, yet He also gives us the ability to choose for ourselves. This would include not only whether we will follow the King above all kings, but also how we will develop our relationship with him,…or rather what steps we will take to make ourselves worthy to walk with him. Sure I’m saved and have eternal life through Jesus Christ, but I also wish to make my Saviour happy in my deeds and with the ways I wish to honor Him.
I really do have to admit that I’m not so sure that anyone with such a venemous attitude could possibly even want to anyone’s true heart for God. It sounds as if he truly believes that he can do all things through his own strength, and that’s just really sad. I hope you have some success in responding back to him Brian. I’m not so sure I would even bother at this point in my life.
As someone who works for Covenant Eyes, an accountability software ministry, I get this question from time to time. Here’s how I might respond . . .
Jeffrey,
Yes, Christians are big believers in their own moral bankruptcy. We believe this is the primary reason why Jesus came to die: to take upon Himself the guilt and the stain of our sin. Each time I am tempted to think that my sin must not be all that bad, I have to look nowhere further than the cross of Christ.
Christian author, Brennan Manning, eloquently said, “Calvary is the place where all the evil in our shabby selves tries to hold its own against God, and thus provokes the thunder of resurrection.” I believe when someone becomes convinced that Jesus rose from the grave, this shows him/her that Jesus’ death had a divine purpose, that His death was not in vain, that He died for us. When we see Jesus’ marred body on the cross we become convinced of the depth of our sin.
Christians also believe when God adopts us, He adopts us into a family. Our Christian brothers and sisters are valuable tools in the hands of God to help us see where and how we need to grow in our faith. Part of this is accountability and confession: we help one another by praying for and confessing to each other our sins. Part of this is helping one another see how sin might be affecting us in ways we do not yet see.
Admitting we need one another is not a sign of stupidity, but honesty. Even non-Christians speak of the value of community in personal growth.
This is fantastic stuff, Brian. We all do what Jeffrey did–some more frequently than others. Sometimes we can’t respect a person’s VIEW, not because the view is wrong, but because we don’t respect the PERSON. Whether their view is right or wrong.
It’s the same reason we choose celebrities to do commercials. If we like them, we’re open to their ideas. But if don’t like them, their team, their band, what they stand for, etc., we might do a mild boycott of the product they endorse.
So if Jeffrey has had some significant negative life experiences with Christians, I can definitely see where he’s coming from. And even though it sounded like he was lashing out, I’m sure he doesn’t disrespect you, just your beliefs.
So how would I respond? I can get how he might be against the whole faith thing. I would want him to understand my “I’m human, you’re human” mentality. Nobody is better or worse for their opinion. His chip on his shoulder doesn’t make him better or worse. Your choice for an accountability partner doesn’t make you better or worse. Runners, photographers, Christians, atheists, opinion column writers, Star Wars buffs…..nobody is better than anybody else for the things they like or dislike. (Some might be more WRONG though—-for example the Star Wars buffs, lol)
It’s just that some people choose to allow their lives to be shaped by their hobbies, preferences, beliefs. A runner can’t just stuff his face with cupcakes every day and expect his performance to be peak. A photographer can’t let her stuff roll around in the car and expect to be the next Ansel Adams with a busted up lens.
It depends on the commitment level. I enjoy running. Sometimes. But I also enjoy cupcakes. I have never run a marathon. When I ran the couple 5Ks I’ve done in my life, I layed off the junk food during training. If I decided to go pro, I’d have to make no-cupcakes my permanent lifestyle.
Faith/beliefs can be a hobby for some, and a lifestyle for others. You can put it on like a Sunday morning hat. Or you can wear it every day like running shoes in the training phase. I think Jeffrey just hadn’t considered that you are totally “lifestyled” into this faith thing.
This is a hair-on-fire, go-for-broke world, Brian. My guess is that even if someone can’t respect the thing you’re going for, they can respect the fervor you’re doing it with. You are one of the very most legit people I know. You don’t wear your faith, you live it out every day. In every situation. Even the hard ones. And that is something *everyone* can respect, if they look at it from that perspective.
Jeffrey, if you read this, I wish you the best. As you search for something worth spending your days and energies in, I hope you find something of value for today and of worth for your future. Best of wishes to you and much grace and love, bro.