Archive for April 7, 2009

Zip Lock Bags

Posted: April 7, 2009 in Funny, Life, People, Random
Tags: , , , ,


It is not take myself too seriously time and time to get brutally honest.

Heather has been out-of-town for work since Thursday. She will come back from Chicago, Illinois on Thursday, leaving me home alone to fend for myself for an entire week. It is not pretty. After a couple of days, I am a complete train wreck.

However, I learn a lot about myself when she leaves for these work trips. I have received a revelation about myself during my recent state of independence.

ZIP LOCK BAGS ARE OFFICIALLY MY NEMESIS. No matter how hard I try, I cannot get those stinkin’ things to close properly. I will try and press and push until my frustration level is through the roof and I give up trying to master this impossible craft. 

What’s the deal? Do my thumbs not work properly? Am I too strong? Am I too weak? Is there some mathematical equation the late 90s Tennessee public school system did not teach that keeps me from properly closing zip lock bags? I just do not get it. 

I have a college degree, yet I cannot seem to figure out how to close a zip lock bag. I can learn, use, and master almost all pieces of technology, yet I cannot close a zip lock bag. I can play guitar and sing at the same time (the musical equivalent of patting your head and rubbing your tummy at the same time), yet I cannot close a zip lock bag. This is a demoralizing, frustrating problem to have, my brothers and sisters.

Am I the only one with this problem?