I love what I do for a living. There is no doubt in my mind that I am internally wired by God to be a minister. Most importantly, God has called me to be a minister and has equipped me by giving me gifts to be a minister. I very rarely have those “I don’t want to wake up and go to my job” mornings. I truly do love my job (my calling).
However, I have come to dread telling people – especially strangers – what I do for a living. I avoid giving out that information at all cost. And I cringe when I get asked the dreaded question – what do you do for a living?
Now, here me out before you assume that I am ashamed of my profession or, even worse, my God. NO WAY!
I only say that I avoid the dreaded question, because people often change how they act or how they treat me because I work for a church. The perfect way to describe what often happens is that a big, thick wall gets put up. Before that information leaked, I was just a nice guy who wanted to have a good conversation. After that information leaked, I turn into a minister that has an agenda.
This morning I can think of two places where the walls from the dreaded question seem to be thrown up the most.
The first place is THE GYM. One of the advantages of living in a small town is that most people know you and know what you do. One of the disadvantages of a living in a small town is that most people know you and know what you do. I have noticed that I tend to hang out with a lot of “church people”. One thing about the gym that I like is that I am hanging out with people who are not necessarily “church people”. People are pretty real in the gym. Maybe it is all the testosterone, the sweat, or the often hideous workout clothes that helps get people real. People are often raw in the gym. The filters tend to come down and people are more authentic. I have had some very unusual conversations in the gym that I probably would not have with a church member directly after Sunday service. However, you should see how quickly people change how they treat me and what they say when they get the knowledge that I am a minister.
The second place I see this happen is on AIRPLANES. You know…the dreaded sitting by someone you do not know plane ride? You either get one of two types of people: the talker or the ignore-at-any-cost person. If I get a talker beside me, I try my hardest to not bring up my occupation as long as I can so I can get the unfiltered, real person before they switch to “I’m sitting beside a pastor so I better behave” mode.
Let me talk to ministers, pastors, clergy, wives of ministers, elders, etc first. There is no doubt in my mind that you understand what I am saying. Hang in there. Keep connecting with people and sharing the good news of the Gospel with people. And when your occupation or title in the church gets in the way of that, keep loving, connecting, and sharing anyway.
Now to the people who are not ministers – please do not change how you act when you are around ministers. We are looking for people who are authentic – even if that authenticity does not look holy or “churchy”. Ministers do not have some special connection with God that you cannot possess, nor do they have Jedi-like powers that can stare into the deepest, darkest corners of your soul. We mess up too. We have fights with our spouses too. We say things we should not say when we stub our toe too. We just love God with all our hearts and get our paychecks from a church.
Brian, I hate that our world puts us into categories. I went through a stage were I hated to tell anyone what Billy did for a living. You think it is bad as a minister, you ought to be a police officer. We have gone to eat lunch with Billy in uniform and been put in a back room by ourselves. When I asked why were made to sit in the back room the waiter said that is was not fair to make all his other customers uncomfortable. We have had many people, including family over the years find out what Billy does for a living and kinda drift away. We also find that the friends we run around with are also officers or in the legal field because they understand.
None of us are perfect or free of sin, but certain occupations are put on a higher pedestal and are not suppose to make mistakes. No where in my Bible does it say all but ministers and police officers have sined.
As I started doing many years ago, when the dreaded question comes stand tall and be proud of who you are and WHAT YOU DO. You are an awesome man, awesome leader, and AWESOME MINISTER. If people shy away it is their problem. They may be dealing with some sort of guilt about their relationship with God. Show them the wonderful man of God that you are. It will not take long for them to love you, even if you are a minister.
So, what do you say when you stub your toe?
As long as you are authentic, others will come around. Those who won’t unclinch are resisting His very loud knocking!
Great post, Brian. I rarely tell people that your Dad (my husband) is an elder (AKA, pastor, shepherd, bishop, overseer,presbyter), because most people would not understand that “church office/position”, since most churches don’t have elders. They have ministers and deacons, but not elders. Why is that, since elders and deacons are mentioned in the same Bible passages? Anyway, I am very proud to be an elder’s wife, and think your dad is an AWESOME elder/shepherd. Most people who know me know that I am a Christian–even if I don’t always act like one. At the end of each day, I pray that God will forgive me for my “un-Christian-like” behavior for that day. Each morning, I ask God for strength to be a better Christian on this new day. Pray for me.