Working with the Deck Stacked Against You

Posted: April 9, 2008 in Faith, Funny, Life

If you have been consistently reading the blog, you know that I have no problem making fun of myself.  From past posts like Guilty Pleasures to Am I a “Real” Man? I have no problem injecting some humility into my life.  Here we go again down that wonderful path again but this time a message of hope is attached to my humiliation.

Have you ever felt like you were working with the deck stacked against you?  What I mean is that there seems to always be some circumstances that you cannot control that negatively affects you in some real way.  Those circumstances can be a huge number of different things.  For me (especially earlier in my life) my circumstances came physically.  I went through pretty much every physical, make-fun-of-able feature one could imagine.  Let me take you through the rundown of now funny things I had…

I was “pigeon-toed”.  For those of you who do not know what being pigeon-toed means, it is where your feet turn inwards when you walk.  I went to a doctor early in my life and learned that my hips are naturally turned more inward than most people.  The doctor even laughed at me and teased me saying, “You should turn out to be a really good soccer player, Brian.”

I was a toe-walker.  A toe-walker is someone that walks solely on their toes and their heals never hit the ground.  It looks like a human-bobber like when you go fishing.  The good news is that I taught myself to not walk with my feet turned inward.  The bad news is that I developed an equally make-fun-able walking style by walking on my toes.

I wore glasses.  I just did not develop bad vision; I developed horrible vision.  I had to have my first pair of glasses that I had to wear everyday when I was seven years old (2nd grade).  I am legally blind without any type of visual aid, so it only got worse from there.  On top of having terrible vision, my eyes inherited really bad astigmatism from my dad, so contacts were out of the question for a long time.  I got my first pair of contact in the 8th grade.  With my coke-bottle glasses, came all type of accessories such as clip on sunglasses, those bands that wrap around your head so they do not fall off during sports, and (this deserves its own paragraph)…

REC-SPECS.  Yes, I sported the rec-specs.  Horace Grant, Eric Dickerson, Kareem Abdul Jabar, and Brian Cromer.  All guys that at one time sported the most hilarious form of sports gear ever evented.

I had really bad teeth.  To say that I had an overbite is an understatement.  I looked like Baraka from Mortal Kombat 2 (see picture).  When I lost my baby teeth, I grew huge, Chicklit teeth in their place.  They could not all fit in my mouth, so my overbite was so bad that I could not close my mouth.  I have had braces on two seperate occasions.  I had braces from the 5th grade till the 10th grade.  

I have double crowns.  For those of you who do not know what double crowns are, I will try to explain.  Look at someone with short hair, the little circle located near the top/back of the head where it seems all the hair grows around it (looks kind of like sun rays).  I have two of those.  The problem with that is when they come together, the hair sticks straight up and you cannot do anything about it.  I didn’t figure out how to fix it till high school.  What that means is that for the first 15 years of my life, pretty much every picture has me resembling Alfalfa from the Little Rascals.

I stuttered.  My stuttering was way worse when I was younger.  However, there are still certain phrases and combination of words that can tie me up pretty good.

I was a really skinny kid.  No matter how much I ate, I always resembled a broom stick.  The problem came in 8th grade when I grew really fast, but never expanded with my height.  

Here is the message of hope in saying all this:

If God can use a skinny, stuttering, bad-teethed, glasses wearing, Rec-Spec wearing, guy who walked funny and whose hair always stuck up, then He can use you.  He has used me in more ways than I could have possibly imagined and He is not done using me.  If you feel like for whatever reason the stack always seems stacked against you, God can use you more than you can imagine.  If God can use me, He definitely can use you.         

  1. Heather says:

    who would have known that that boy would be become the hunk of a man that you are today! I love you!

    That Baraka dude is scary looking.

  2. briancromer says:

    I’m blushing…

  3. Luke says:

    I wore Rec-Specks not b/c of eye sight, but b/c of David Robinson. He wore them, so they must be cool. (But it was only three times that I wore them)

  4. briancromer says:

    I didn’t know that Robinson wore goggles. Chris Sabo, yes. David Robinson, I didn’t know that. Can you produce a picture for me?

  5. Landon says:

    for some reason, probably because of your all-around coolness, i equate this post with the tv show on vh1 that shows the lives of celebrities when they still had braces and embarrassed themselves in front of their elementary school.

  6. Sarah says:

    Surviving an awkward adolescence is SUCH an amazing feeling! And… He gives you a new deck!

  7. Luke says:

    No pic. You are just going to have to trust me. But I did have a six foot poster of him w/ glasses in my room as a kid.

  8. For everybody who reads Brian’s blog–he was one of the 2 CUTEST babies/children that God ever created (his sister, Lesley, is the other)!!! If you need proof, contact me and I will produce pictures (but not his 5th grade pic; right, Brian?) But no mother could be prouder of her son than I am. I love him VERY much and am so proud of him!!! My SWEET daughter-in-law, Heather is PRETTY GREAT, too.

  9. briancromer says:

    Thanks mom. I went downhill for a while after being a baby though. Heather is great.

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